KINGDOM OF HEAVEN TAKEN BY PRAYER 8/10 (WILLIAM HUNTINGTON)

Indeed I used such simple expressions, and such familiarity, with my sweet Saviour, as I chose to conceal; being aware that I shall be styled an enthusiast for relating my inability to fetch a hoe or a rake. And indeed I should not have mentioned that circumstance, had not the Holy Ghost left the following simple expression of Peter's, upon the mount, on record, when he desired Christ to assist him in building "three [earthly] tabernacles; one for Moses, one for Jesus, and one for Elias." Fine buildings for the Lord and two glorious spirits to reside in! However, God's word has informed us that he knew not what he said. And yet I think none but a feel will call Peter an enthusiast for desiring to detain such a blessed company as he was within the visions of God.

Having spent the remaining part of the day on the common, I walked home in the evening, and went into my green-house to pray; there I had nobody to disturb me, as the family was gone to London for the winter season, and had left only an old woman in the house. While I was at prayer, such unutterable joy flowed into my heart, springing higher and higher, and I felt my soul swimming in such inexpressible ecstasy, that I thought it was as though I had been in eternal glory. Fearing that an angel would be sent to me, I arose and went away, lest I should not be able to behold the sight.

I went into the house, laughing, crying, and saying to my dear Redeemer, "I have heaven enough. What can heaven be more? What can it add to this? I desire no other heaven; I have enough." I took the Bible down to read; and, as soon as I opened it, was so amazed, that I did not know it to be the same book - the glorious light shone in all the dark and obscure passages; for "the day dawn and the day star had risen in my heart," 2 Pet. i. 2. I read the Bible in the language of my own experience; and could trace the spirit and feelings of the inspired penman, even from the gates of hell to the highest pinnacle of revealed felicity. My spirit and experience could pursue them, and go where they would.

I found I was come "to Mount Sion [indeed], to the heavenly Jerusalem; to an innumerable company of angels, and to the spirits of just men made perfect; and to God the judge of all, and to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the precious blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than the blood of Abel."

I read the Bible as the will and testament of my heavenly Father; and in every promise that I saw faith laid hold of Christ, brought him into my heart, and conveyed all the sweetness of him to my soul, as the foretaste of heaven. My faith as naturally sought after the promises as a child does after the breast; and I found them scattered throughout the Bible, "here a little and there a little."

O sweet gleaning - precious picking - choice entertainments - of marrow and fatness, and of wines on the lees well refined!" Isa. xxv. 6.

As for the threatenings, conditional promises, and curses, they had lost all their formidable appearance and shot their arrows at me no more. Jesus Christ shone sweetly throughout the whole book, and I was blessed with the spirit of revelation; and that blessed Spirit plowed up the mysteries, and led my mind sweetly into them; so that I could perceive the scriptures sweetly testified of Jesus. And my faith would hunt him out of all the dark sayings, proverbs, parables, similitudes, figures, types, and shadows, or in whatever else he was wrapt up. O blessed be his sacred majesty! blessed be his holy name! who has hedged my soul round with so many glorious promises, while the brazen mountain of eternal election stands like ten thousand columns under my redeemed soul. In short, my heart was like "Mount Zion, that can never be moved."

I went to bed, but could not sleep; I laid and laughed, cried, sang, and blessed and praised God, my Saviour, all night long. I talked out loud to him, as familiar as a man does with his friend, and he answered me in the joy of my heart, as an object of his unmerited love.

I tried now and then if I could bring my sins again to remembrance, and to feel after my troubles and temptations: but God had erased them both from my mind and memory, nor did they ever come back afterwards, and I am persuaded they never will. Thus "the sins of Judah were sought for, but they could not be found, for there were none," as the scriptures witness. For, where my sins formerly stood in battle array, there now stood my dear Redeemer, with his vesture of human nature "dipped in blood," Rev. xix. 13. He continued before me in this manner for many months together; nor do I think that I got wholly out of the vision for six or seven months.

I began now to search my Bible, to see if those visions of Christ, which the saints of old had, would agree with mine. I compared them by the following scriptures; and, as far as the scriptures warrant me, so far can I reveal them with all confidence.

The first passage I found was, "And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplication; and they shall look upon me [mark that - look upon me!] whom they have pierced; and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son; and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his first-born," Zech. xii. 12. The next passage occurs in Job, xlii. 5, 6. "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee: wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes." The next was in Isaiah, xliii. 1-3. "Who is this that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from Bozrah? This that is glorious in his apparel, traveling in the greatness of his strength? - I that speak in righteousness, mighty to save. Wherefore art thou red in thine apparel, and thy garments like him that treadeth in the wine fat? I have trodden the wine press alone, and of the people, there was none with me." "These things said Esaias, when he saw his glory, and spake of him," John, xii. 4!. Again; "I saw in the night visions, and behold one like the so, of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him," Dan. vii. 13. And again; "Then Nebuchadnezzar the king was astonished and rose up in haste, and spake and said unto his counselors. Did not we cast three men bound into the midst of the fire? They answered and said unto the king, True, O King. He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking m the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt: and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God," Dan. iii. 24, 25. The next is - "And above the firmament that was over their heads was the likeness of a throne, as the appearance of a sapphire stone; and upon the likeness of the throne was the likeness as the appearance of a man above upon it," Ezek. i. 26. The next was that of Joshua; "And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lift up his eyes and looked, and behold there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand. And Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries? And he said Nay, but as captain of the host of the Lord, am I now come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and did worship." (Mark that; Joshua was no Arian, nor did the Saviour receive his worship as a creature.) "And Joshua said unto him, What saith Jehovah unto his servant? And the captain of the Lord's host said unto Joshua, Loose thy shoe from off thy foot." What for? That thou mayst stand in my strength, or else thou wilt make a poor hand of the Canaanites, and to shew him that he must not stand in the inventions of men, but in the presence and power of God - "for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground. And Joshua did so," Joshua, v. 13-15.

I also recollected the Lord's appearing to Abraham, to Moses at the bush, and to Jacob at Bethel: yea, the time would fail me to tell; for Paul says "He was seen of above five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. And after that, he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time," I Cor. xv. 6- 8. And to John, he appeared also; "And, when I saw him, I fell at his feet as one dead, and he laid his right hand on me, saying, Fear not, I am the first and the last, I am he that liveth and was dead, and I am alive for evermore, and have the keys of hell and of death," Rev. i. 16, 17. Yea, says the Saviour, "I will manifest myself unto them that thou hast given me out of the world." And again, "The world seeth me no more, but ye see me (mark that - but ye see me); and, because I live, ye shall live also." And to this agrees the ancient prophecy; "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy; your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions: and also upon the servants and upon the handmaids, in those days, will I pour out my Spirit," Joel, ii. 28, 29. And, blessed be his name, so he does; many servants and handmaids have received this invaluable blessing and soul-satisfying testimony, even under my poor feeble instrumentality as a preacher.

When the next Lord's Day arrived I went to church as usual, but could not join them in their prayers; for I had enough to do to observe the behavior of the congregation, and listen to what they said. And it appeared very shocking to me to hear people in Egyptian darkness say that their eyes had seen the Lord's salvation; and no less absurd for wanton, graceless souls, to beseech God not to take his holy Spirit from them - for the righteous Pharisees to call themselves miserable sinners - for free agents to declare there was no health in them - for haters of God and godliness to pray for their persecutors and slanderers - for spiritual criminals to tell God that his service is perfect freedom. And, for my part, I could not say that I was tied and bound with the chain of my sin. In short, the whole service appeared a string of shocking contradictions, and no less than a solemn mockery of God Almighty: nor could I join in it in any respect.

The people who sat next to me observed me very particularly, as I thought because I did not perform my exercise as usual - I mean that of kneeling down and standing up at the word of command, sitting down when bid, and then wheeling to the east. I had lost all my motions, and the people took notice of it; for I used to be as active at my discipline, and as quick to rehearse my parole, as the best of them: but now I only sat in the tent and looked on. I imagined they all looked at me, and I longed to get out; for I thought, and thought right, that I was in the congregation of the dead.

At last, the irksome task was performed; the minister went into the pulpit; and I was determined not to lose a syllable of his performance, if possible, but to hear him with all the ears of a critic. His text was, "This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." He attempted to prove that the Jews were all unbelievers - but that we, being brought up in a country where Christianity had been long established, were, consequently, all believers! And, when he came to the conclusion (to which he made hasty strides,) he said, "If faith will overcome the world, then what will good works do?" This last clause he spoke with peculiar emphasis; as though he meant to say it was easy to describe the victories of faith, but that the heroic feats of human merit were past all description! And indeed so they are, and cannot possibly be guessed at unless we could see the multitudes that human merit has captured and imprisoned in hell.

I never till then knew what the prophet Isaiah meant by these words," His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber. Yea, they are greedy dogs, which can never have enough; and they are shepherds that cannot understand," Isa. lvi. 10, 11. I found he was blind, for he could see nothing of the devil or his works, and therefore he had no beasts to bark at but the poor Jews; and he could not bark at them unless he barked by notes. Such are blind guides indeed, as the dear Redeemer says; and they guide thousands into the ditch as well as themselves.

Blessed be the Almighty, who has promised to teach his own elect himself, and to open our eyes to see our teachers; as it is written, "Yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a comer anymore, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers," Isa. xxx. 20. And, blessed be God, that teacher was not hiding from me. Jehovah held him forth to me in his true colors; and I tried him by the word of God, as we are commanded to do; "Try the spirits, whether they be of God," I John, iv. 1. And I found him in God's balance to be" lighter than vanity."

When I came out of the church I shook off the gown, the cassock, the building, and the discipline; and left it all behind. I then experienced in reality, what I had often confessed, that "God's service is perfect freedom."

On my way home I was beset with this temptation; that it was impossible for me, a man who could not read a chapter in the Bible with propriety, to have such an understanding of the spiritual meaning of God's word, while these men of eminent learning appeared more ignorant than infants. I asked, "What is it then?" The temptation answered, "You are asleep and in a dream." I stood still and listened to it, and said, "I am awake, and it is real." "No," replied the suggestion," you are asleep and in a dream." I was so perplexed that I felt my arms my knees, my head, my coat, and cried out, "There is 'Squire Boehm's house - there is my master's house - there is the sign of the Magpye - and I am in the horse-road. It is really so; I am awake, I know I am awake." And this scripture settled the matter, "I have more understanding than my teachers, for thy testimonies are my meditation," Psal. cxix. 99. I have often since thought of the confession of poor Zion when God proclaimed her enlargement: as it is written," When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like unto them that dream. Then our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them," Psalm, cxxvi. 1, 2.

Having proved myself awake, I walked home, examined the Whole Duty of Man, and some other old stuff?, of the same linseywoolsey manufactory, and passed sentence upon them, agreeable to what is written in the Acts of the Apostles, "Many of them which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed," Acts, xix. 19, 20.

I examined the doctrinal articles of the church of England and found I had the substance of them in my heart. And indeed they seem to be almost all that the establishment has got, that appears from scripture to be of the apostolic plan; the greatest part of the rest seems entirely of human model. What it may be to patch up an outer court, to protect the invisible church, or hidden ones of Christ, I know not; the end will show that. As for the articles, I never heard of them till I was twenty-five years of age. Our clergy act wisely in keeping them concealed in front the people; for they would be a candle to the congregation if they were to be read, and a flash of lightning in the face of a blind guide while he was reading them.

I told my wife that the church people seemed to be all wrong; they were not born again, nor did they know anything about a spiritual birth. Howbeit, I thought I would go and have a little conversation with two or three of the old communicants, who appeared in my eyes to be the most righteous among them. First I went to one Mr. Pease, whom I looked upon to be one of the most upright among them; and had a long conversation with him about the new birth and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The old gentleman heard me very attentively; and, finding I had got his ear, I was very zealous in enforcing the truth to his heart, thinking he must understand it, I laid it down so plain to him from scripture. After he had heard me a long time with great attention, and given his assent and consent to what I said, he asked me the following question: "Mr. Huntington," said he, "you seem to understand the scriptures very well, I think; and I wish you would resolve me in this thing. You know I go to the sacrament constantly and pay sixpence at the table. Some say that the sacrament does us no good unless we pay something. I wish to be satisfied in this, Whether the sacrament is not full as useful to us, if we do not pay anything, as when we pay money." The old gentleman confounded me, and stopped my mouth at once; I had not a word more to say to him. Alas! (thought I) does he think the sacrament will save his soul! And is it but sixpence a time for him to approach his salvation! And does he want to save the sixpence! And is the brightest saint in appearance so ignorant as this! Then what must the others be!

I went and spake with another, whom I judged to be second best; and, after I had discoursed with him about two hours, he told me that he was surprised at my wisdom, and believed me to be a sincere man; but, as for his part, he was well persuaded that we were free agents; life and death were set before us, and we might choose which we pleased. Howbeit, I reasoned the point often with him, but free-agency was always his conclusion; so I left him too.

I went to hear at two churches after this, but I found them just the same as the others; therefore I gave them up also and told my wife that I believed there was nobody that was born again out of myself. Elijah-like, I seemed quite alone, or "as one born out of due time." And I one day asked God what was to become of all these? The answer was, "Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God," John, iii. 3.

As I could not find one soul, among all that I knew, who could give me any account of a change of heart, or spiritual birth, I was tempted to think that I was wrong, for that the Lord's flock could not be so few as they appeared to be. I therefore laboured to get back again into the same distress as I had been before, thinking that I must be wrong, and perhaps in a delusion. Yea, I even prayed to God to let me pass through twenty-five years of misery, as I had been twenty-five years a sinner, rather than suffer me to be deluded. I tried, therefore, to bring my sins to remembrance again, and the wrath of God with them, as usual; but all in vain, for God had separated my sins from me as far as the east is from the west. In this God did sweetly fulfill his promise; as it is written, "In those days, and in that time, saith the Lord, the iniquity of Israel shall be sought for, and there shall be none; and the sins of Judah, and they shall not be found: for I will pardon them whom I reserve," Jer. l. 20. How sweet have these blessed promises been to my soul, "I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins," Isa. xliii. 25. And again, "I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins: return unto me, for I have redeemed thee," Isa. xliv. 22.

Thus God gives "knowledge (mark that, knowledge) of salvation unto his people by the remission of sins," Luke, i. 77. The preacher who has got this pardon signed and sealed on his conscience is not afraid to face either men or devils. What can make a man's countenance fall but a guilty conscience? And, if he is pardoned, the living testimony of God's Spirit in his conscience will make his countenance stand in the work of God; for, as David says, "Thou art the health of my countenance, and my God."

I bless God for this conspicuous pardon; for since I have been called forth to preach "the forgiveness of sins" in Christ's name, I have been enabled to preach that soul-saying truth with all boldness, and without a single doubt of its being a undeniable proof of our eternal election, and a certain earnest of our everlasting glory.

For this I have been often blamed by many; I mean for advancing the doctrine with such confidence. Some have attributed it to my pride; some to insensibility; some to rash presumption; some to infallibility; some to self-sufficiency; and others to a desire of appearing singular, and that I meant thereby to infer that there was no other preacher but myself.

These things showed me how few there were, among the whole bulk of professors, that had received the atonement of Christ. However, I found that the sense of the pardon of sin enabled me to advance and enforce that doctrine with all authority, and not as a legal scribe, who knows not what he says, nor whereof he affirms; nor yet as those "wizards, that peep and that mutter," .Isa. viii. 19; nor yet as a popish priest, who deals in the bulls of his holiness, and sells the guilty sinner twenty absolutions for thirty shillings, and then leaves him in purgatory; nor yet as an Arminian, who steps into Moses's chair, and curses us for not swallowing down a budget of peradventures. But to return.

I went home and told my wife that they were all wrong and that I should not go to any place of worship anymore, but would stay at home on the Lord's day. I accordingly did so and made a few hymns, and sung them. I read the Bible and explained it a little to my wife, and prayed, and I found the Spirit of prayer abode with me. And surely these sabbaths were sabbaths indeed to me, for I had the spirit of devotion all the day long.

Satan would sometimes tempt me, when I saw a clergyman in his gown and cassock, to admire the venerable rag, in order to bring me back to the old stone walls; but, as I had suffered so much before, while following these blind guides, I was determined to weigh the passages which our dear Lord hath left upon record to caution such poor ignorant souls; as it is written, "Then, in the audience of all the people, he said unto his disciples, Beware of the Scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues (or bishops' thrones in cathedrals), and the chief rooms at feasts; which devour widows' houses, and for a shew make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation," Luke, it. 45, 46, 47. I saw by these scriptures that they had no command from God for their gowns and popish trumpery, for God forbids it; as it is written, "And it shall come to pass in that day, that the prophets shall be ashamed every one of his vision, when he hath prophesied; neither shall they wear rough garments to deceive," Zech. xiii. 4.

Having searched the Bible in the light of the Lord, I compared our present clergy with the apostles and prophets. I examined the apostles' dress, and compared it with the robes of our clergy - I also compared the Saviour's humble prayers, and the prayers of the apostles, with our numerous long-written prayers - as also our parochial congregations with the chosen remnants that followed God's ministers of old; and I found a very great disproportion between our clergy and them. Our clergy rolled in their coaches, but they traveled on foot. Our clergy wear robes, but they had only one coat a-piece. Our clergy are ornamented with miters, but they were "shod with sandals." Our bishops are lords; the apostles are servants. Our clergy are enlarging their tithe barns, and go to law for their dues, but they were only allowed to "eat and drink what was set before them;" but never allowed to gain one sheaf, or one fleece of wool, by law. Our clergy also buy their sermons at a shilling a piece, although, in general, they are not worth a farthing; but the apostles delivered theirs "as the Spirit gave them utterance." Some of our clergy deny the operations of the Spirit, and hate those who contend for them; but the apostles declared that "if any man has not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his."

Upon the whole, I found that the religion that Christ had set up in my conscience was exactly agreeable to the word of God: but no more like the established religion that I had imbibed from my infancy, than the Pope's absolution is like that blessed absolution which is applied by the only atoning Saviour: the former is a prelude to purgatory, and the latter an earnest of heaven.

When I read my Bible after illumination, I was astonished at how I could remain so many years ignorant of the meaning of the word of God, which now appeared so plain; and how I could be led blind-folded so long by men so profoundly ignorant of the scriptures, who only feed themselves and starve the souls of their flock; as it is written, "Son of Man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds, Wo be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves. Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool; ye kill them that are fed, but ye feed not the flock," Ezek. xxxiv. 2, 3.

Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who hath proclaimed liberty to my soul by his own Spirit, and made me appear like Naphtali, "a hind let loose," Gen. xlix. 21; who hath enabled me to leap over all the bounds of human inventions. I have often been hunted, but God has taught me to "beware of dogs," Phil. iii. 2.

0 the heavenly communion that my soul enjoyed with Jesus Christ when I was delivered! I used to go mourning over him all day long, while he appeared perpetually before my eyes in his "dyed garments;" and this sweet expression echoed in my heart, in a resounding voice from heaven, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God." The sight of Christ crucified had such an effect on my soul, that I went loathing myself in dust and ashes, often declaring that I must have justified him to all eternity, had he "dealt with me according to my sins." Oh that God would lead our Arminians upon this blessed spot of holy ground! Then we should hear no more of their free agency, self-righteousness, sinless perfection, and final apostasy from the all-conquering and all-sufficient grace of God. But, alas! the wind of error has wrapped them up in her wings, and when they will be disclosed I know not.

I had one night an awful dream; which was, that the end of the world was coming. I saw on my right hand some astonishing "pillars of smoke," Joel, ii. 30; which appeared so great as to darken the whole earth; Isa. viii. 22. I looked about me; and, behold, on my left hand there appeared a flaming fire; 2 Thess. vii. 8. I stood astonished at this; but not so much terrified as might have been expected. While I stood musing in my dream what this could mean, there came such an amazing whirlwind as I had never before seen; Isaiah, lxvi. 15. This wind took almost everything that was upon the earth and carried it into the air. The birds darted and flew in an amazing manner, and at last, went quite out of sight. "Thus I beheld till the birds of the heavens were fled," Jer. iv. 25. Soon after this the darkness vanished, and a little light appeared - the whirlwind ceased, and there was a calm. I now looked up, and there stood all the offspring of Adam, who bore his image, covering the face of the whole earth; Rev. xx. 12. And there appeared to me to be six women to four men; Eccl. vii. 8. They fled, and screamed till the earth rang again; and their hair hung in a disordered manner, like that of mad women: their pale visages appeared with all the fury of devils, and the flames of wrath seemed to disfigure every feature of their faces; as it is written, "Howl ye; for the day of the Lord is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty. And they shall be afraid; pangs and sorrows shall take hold of them: they shall be in pain as a woman that travaileth; they shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames," Isa. xiii. 6-11. An awful passage indeed! Their faces were as flames! And so the wicked must appear; as it is written, "As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image," Psal. lxxiii. 20. Looking awhile with horror on the dreadful scene, they then fled all manner of ways for shelter from the impending storm; Rev. vi. 16; but they found none; Job, xxxiv. 22; for every eye must see him; Rev. i. 7.

Having stood awhile to observe this lamentable sight, it suddenly darted into my mind that I knew the Saviour; and immediately the sweetest calm of peace and love flowed into my soul so that I could look up, and lift up my head, thinking that my redemption drew nigh; Luke, xxi. 28. And, when I had thus lifted up my head, behold there appeared the tremendous Judge indeed! 2 Chron. xviii. 18. "The judgment was set, and the books were opened," Dan. vii. 10.

I shall not enlarge; but I find that Daniel, Enoch, John, &c. &c. had the same vision in their days; therefore it is nothing new. It comes often fresh to my mind when I see troops of our painted ladies walking the streets, some of them almost worn out with hard labor, whose tender eyes, pale faces, and thin jaws, tell every beholder that they have been, as it were, parboiled in consequence of their impure connexions. Such are the very pictures which I saw in the vision, and I shall one day see them in reality. But to return -

I kept close to the Bible whenever I had an opportunity; and found that my dear Redeemer spake so sweetly to my

worthless soul, in the blessed promises of the gospel, that reading the Bible was a greater delight to me than the reading of a will is to an old miser, where he appears the legatee and finds his thousands in every paragraph. I found I was an heir of promise; and the sweet promises, with all their rich cordials, flowed into my heart when my thirsty soul drew them in by the mouth of faith. Yea, they would at times appear to discharge their whole contents, till my heart was like a bottle that had no vent; Job, xxxii. 19. And the precious doctrine of eternal election propped me up like ten thousand columns, and afforded all the security and stability that my worthless soul could stand in need of, and that too against all the storms of life.

The condescension of my dear Redeemer was so great to his unworthy servant, that he communed with me all day long. If a doubt or a scruple arose in my mind, he answered my thoughts by his word - if I felt a burden, when I called he took it off - if I doubted the reality of the work, he renewed it again on my soul - if I met with a difficult passage of scripture, he would send me two or three passages as keys to unlock it, and sweetly lead me into the soul-establishing meaning of it. He also led my mind back to my infant state, and there showed me how he had been with me from my mother's womb, as a cautioner - as a provider - as a preventer, when exposed to sin, and even bent on it-as a reprover - as a preserver - and a guide, to this decreed spot, where I was to meet with this ever-adorable Saviour. This truly is fellowship with him, and fellowship indeed!

He would at times lead me to his sufferings and death, and give me to feel such a fellowship with him in his agonies, that I have wept aloud, though I really felt a pain in my side when I have been thinking of the cruel spear that pierced him. At other times I have been indulged with such sweet meditations on his victories from the grave, that (as Paul says) I had fellowship with him in his resurrection. Daily experience teaches us what fellowship with him by the Spirit means, and every step we take in faith proclaims to the heart of a Christian what the fellowship of him as a friend means, and is a proof of his being the omnipresent God: as it is written," And lo I am with you always, to the end of the world."

O, sweet companion! - delightful guest! - blessed familiarity! divine indulgence! - soul-enriching contemplation! - and soul-ennobling fellowship! - which conclude without the least stain of guilt; without any cutting reflection; without barrenness, doubts, horror, fears, or accusations: - but with a real anticipation of all that is meant by the incommunicable name of Jehovah, and heaven, his blessed residence. This is spending "our days in prosperity, and our years in pleasure," Job, xxxvi. 11.

Indeed he daily communed with me from off the mercy-seat, as a man doth with his friend; yea, and spake to me in his eternal council, and showed me his "goings forth to be of old, yea, from everlasting," Mic. v. 2. He communed with me also on the creation; and made "the heavens declare his handy works," and "the firmament the glory" of his power. In providence he showed his paternal care over me, and made my reins instruct me in the woeful fall of man; Psal. xvi. 7. My daily infirmities proclaim his long-suffering mercy, and his slowness to anger; while all the temptations I had waded through, proclaimed his omnipotent power and preventing grace. The testimony of his Spirit within me, and the word of his grace, loudly proclaimed his faithfulness and his truth. The ignorance and malice of sinners showed me the awful doctrine of reprobation; and my appearing without a spiritual companion in the world, confirmed me in the doctrine of eternal election and predestination.

O happy state! O blessed Redeemer, who thus condescended to familiarize himself with such an unworthy worm! This sweet fellowship with the dear Saviour has been of great service to me since I have been in the ministry; especially when the Arians, both in town and country, have laid siege to my judgment; for, when they brought forth their infernal sophistry, I could always batter their iron breast-plate, Rev. ix. 9; or seared conscience, I Tim. iv. 2; with the weapon of my own experience. They never knew what communion and fellowship with Jesus meant; if they had, they would not thus abuse him.

Christ in scripture is called "a tried stone;" and the best way to try his deity is to go to him, as I did, burdened with sins - stung with guilt - harassed by devils - cursed by the law - and tormented with the pains of hell; and then pray to him as the only true God; and, if he delivers the sinner, let him say, as David did, "He that is our God is the God of salvation; and, if he brings the sinner forth in a lively hope, let him own that the Lord Jesus is "the everlasting Father;" and say as David says, "Unto God the Lord belong the issues from death," Psal. lxviii. 20; and see if any other God beside him can deliver them. Peter says, "There is salvation in no other name."

However, I prayed to Christ alone, and never rose from my knees till the kingdom of God was established in my heart; and I think, if the Saviour had answered the Arian as he did me, when he sent me from prayer with my face shining, and my soul melting in the flames of everlasting love, he would say, as Elijah did, "Let him be God that answers by fire," I Kings, xviii. 24. But Arians are worse by far than Baal's worshippers; for these last said to the prophet's propositions, "It is well spoken:" but they still keep crying out," O Baal, hear us!" However, if Christ should deliver them out of their errors, and save them from sin, they will then confess his deity; and, if they should drop into endless torments, and see the righteous in the bosom of God, even then they will own that he is "a just God and a Saviour."

It appears plain in scripture that the eternal kingdom itself, and the throne of that kingdom, are established in the divinity of the Saviour; which also appears by the Father's testimony of him, "But of the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is forever and ever; a scepter of righteousness is the scepter of thy kingdom," Heb. i. 8. His wisdom and ability to execute this prophetic office were the consequence of that omniscience which is declarative of his eternal Godhead; as it is written, "He shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears," Isa. xi. 3, as men must do; no, "he knew all men, and he knew what was in man, and [therefore] needed not that any should testify of man," John, ii. 25.

Our enjoyment of him, and fellowship with him, upon earth, is sufficient proof of his omnipresence; as it is written, "And lo I am with you always, even unto the end of the world," Matt. xxviii. 20. His ability to execute his priestly office arises also from his eternal power and Godhead. "For your sakes I sanctify myself, that you may be sanctified through the truth." His deity was the "altar that sanctified the gift;" as it is written, "He offered himself through the eternal Spirit to God." And, because he is the eternal God, "he is a priest forever and ever," or an everlasting priest. His being an unchangeable priest, and having an unchangeable priesthood, are sufficient proofs of his immutability. And his being appointed to judge the world proves him to be the omniscient God, who searches all hearts and judges all men; as it is written, "For God is judge himself," Psal. 1. 6; and this God is Christ; "for the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son," John, v. 22.

Is it not therefore strange that Christ should be called the true Light - the Truth - the Life - the Resurrection and the Life - the Holy One - the Just One - the First - the Last - the Almighty - a just God and a Saviour - the Creator and Maker of all things - God over all, blessed for evermore, who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light - our Lord, whom we are commanded to worship, and whom all the angels of God are commanded to worship. - I say, is it not strange that every perfection of the Deity should be attributed to Christ, and yet Christ be esteemed no more than a mere man, as the insolent Arians affirm!!! - But why do I multiply such scriptures against the Arian, when he may be overthrown by the testimony of devils!

Christ says to his disciples, "Neither be ye called masters; for one is your master, even Christ," Matt. xxiii. 8. Now let us see who this only master of the apostles is, according to the testimony of the devil: "And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, that a certain damsel, possessed [mark that, possessed] with a spirit of divination, met us, and cried saying, These men are the servants of the Most High God [mark that, of the Most High God], which shew unto us the way of salvation. And this did she many days." Let it be observed that it was no hasty confession of the devil, nor any slip of the tongue, but it was done with deliberation, and that repeatedly. There the devil was turned into a public bellman, and forced to promulgate the truth against his inclination. "And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved" (I suppose not liking this sort of assistance:) though Paul could not contradict his doctrine, yet he well knew who the preacher was; "Paul, being grieved (I say), turned and said to the spirit, I command thee, in the name of Jesus Christ, to come out of her." And the devil added obedience to the above confession. Satan had declared Paul's master to be the Most High God; and Paul now commanded the devil to quit his hold in the name of Jesus Christ, his master: accordingly, the devil obeyed with all expedition; as it is written, "And he came out the same hour," Acts, xvi. 16-18. Who can, from scripture, justly accuse the devil of Arianism? None; for "the devil believes and trembles." - But the unbelieving Arian laughs at these truths, The devil confesses Christ plainly, "We know thee, who thou art, the Holy One of God," Luke, iv. 34. The devils pray to Christ; as it is written, "When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell down before him, and with a loud voice said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most High? I beseech thee torment me not," Luke, viii. 28. Satan knew his Judge of old, and also his decreed doom; and guessed at the decreed time, as it is written, "Art thou come to torment us before the time?" Matt. viii. 29. Thus Satan confessed to the Judge who was to torment him. The doctrine of Arianism was it imputed to devils, would be a scandal even to them; for they confessed Christ, and they prayed to him not to send them into the deep, but to suffer them "to enter into the herd of swine," and the savior suffered them; and then chews his power by sending the swine and the devils into the deep together.

I think that the Arians represent the devils as very great cowards, in praying to Christ, if he is no more than a creature; and then that a whole legion of them should run, with the herd of swine, in that violent manner, in consequence of the verbal order of a mere man. In short, the Arian is not faithful either to God or Mammon; for he first denies the record that God gave of his Son, and then denies the confession of the devils. How amazingly ignorant of God, therefore, must such men be, when they may read in the scriptures how Satan influenced the Goliath of Gath to defy "the armies of the living God," and what havoc Satan made in Egypt when God sent evil angels among them. And, after these amazing feats, is it a likely matter that Satan should fly before the face of Christ if he is no more than a mere creature?

But the Arian is seemingly so anxious to cheat his soul of salvation, that he is obliged to dispute himself out of all his learning, and even out of common sense and reason, in support of his favorite tenet. Yea, God has so often taken off the wheels of Arianism, that they have been obliged to dispute themselves out of their boasted abilities, and prove themselves ignorant of the grammatical sense of words; wresting the scriptures, to put any gloss or construction on their shattered and withered cause. But the scriptures must be fulfilled, which say, "Many shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them; and shall bring on themselves swift destruction," 2 Pet. ii. 1.

In short, the Arian appears to me to act worse with the Saviour than Judas did; for Judas for money only betrayed his innocent blood, and then hanged himself, that he might go quickly to his own place, and "receive the wages of his unrighteousness:" but the Arian levels all his malice at the Saviour's eternal power and Godhead; which bereaves his merit of all its divine efficacy, renders him no better than an impostor, and the living oracles of God to be only the testimony of a creature; and thus he fixes in his own conscience the soul-piercing sting of infinite guilt; and, in the propagation of his damnable heresy, he endeavors to render others tenfold more the children of hell than himself.

O blessed be the dear Saviour, who delivers his redeemed flock from such "wolves in sheep's clothing," and, as their divine prophet, teaches them himself! The chosen vessel knows the Saviour to be "the true light," because he shines into his heart; 2 Cor. iv. 6. He knows him to be "the resurrection," because he has raised him to "newness of life," Rom. vi. 4. He knows that he is the God of salvation because he has delivered him "from the wrath to come," I Thess. i. 10. He knows him to be the God of glory because the glory of his God and of his Saviour has risen upon him; Isaiah, xl. 1. He knows he is a God that hears prayer, because he answers "him in the joy of his heart," Eccl. v. 20. He knows he is "the only wise God," because he makes him wise unto salvation, and wiser than all the carnal men in the world; I Cor. ii. 14. He knows he is the omnipresent God, by the daily communion which he enjoys with him; I John, i. 2. Nor can he doubt of his being the Judge of both quick and dead, because he has been honorably acquitted at the bar of his own conscience.

This is the secret mystery that lies between Christ and the elect, and which is entirely "hid from the wise and prudent," Matt. xl. 25. It is this that creates a joy unspeakable in the believer's heart, and "which the stranger intermeddles not with," Prov. xiv. 10.

This private method that the Saviour took in instructing me by his word and Spirit without the ordinary use of public ordinances, led me to love private study and meditation: and even to this time I had rather spend one day alone by myself, in communion with Christ, than a whole week in company with all the gospel ministers in the kingdom; yea, I would rather spend a day in communion with Christ alone, than in company with the twelve apostles, even were it possible for them to pay me a visit from heaven.

If we have the joy of a heartfelt union and communion with Jesus Christ, what can add to it? It is Christ who constitutes heaven. The presence of him, the flame of his love, and the rays of his glory are heaven in the abstract. If there is any other heaven besides the glorious presence of Christ, I shall not covet it. If I have Christ, Christ is enough for me; as saith the Psalmist, when he makes Christ his home, his portion, and the ultimate end of his wish. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul. And again, "Thou hast been our dwelling-place in all generations." And "When I wake up with thy likeness, I shall be satisfied" with it. And so shall I; "for he is my life, and the length of my days," Deut. xxx. 20. And "because he lives we shall live also."

Having gone on awhile in this sweet way, a person in Sunbury asked me to go and hear the methodists Richmond. This I refused, fearing that I should get errors; for I had been told strange things of that body and I thought there might be some truth in the report. He kept persuading me, till at last I consented to go. Prior to accompanying him I went upstairs and begged of God to keep me from imbibing any of their errors and to shew me whether these people were right or not. I now went with the man, and we had a deal of discourse by the way. He seemed, I thought, to have the scheme of salvation in his head, but no feeling sense of the power in his heart.

When we came to the meeting he appeared much disappointed, as it was not the preacher whom he expected. The text was out of Jonah; "Arise, sleep, and call upon thy God." But he seemed to me to make very little use of it, at least I thought so. His name was Weeks. He might be a good man, but he never touched on the glorious joys which I had felt. He did not seem to be one who could dive into the mysteries of Christ, but rather labored to "roll away the stone from the well's mouth."

The person that took me seemed much disappointed, and asked me many questions, to know whether I approved of what I had heard or not. I told him, I thought he was a good man, &c.

The next Lord's day he asked me to go again: I seemed rather reluctant, as I had neither won nor lost by the last sermon; however, I complied with his request and went. When we came there my friend seemed much pleased and told me it was the man that he before wanted me to hear. His name was Joss. I heard him with all the ears of a critic. His text was, "Thanks be to God and the Father, who hath delivered us from the powers of darkness and translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son; in whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins," Col. i. 13, 14. This man handled his text like a workman, and reached my heart sweetly; and, through grace, I could see eye to eye with him in all he said. In the evening I heard him again from these words, "And to you who are troubled, rest with us, when the Lord Jesus Christ shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power," 2 Thess. i. 7-9.

My companion was very solicitous to know if I approved of the doctrine held forth by the preacher. I told him, Yes; I believe Paul could not have delivered a better discourse than the first was. Indeed I thought the old apostolic days were come again; for the preacher appeared with his hoary head in the way of righteousness, and preached the Bible, a book which I had never heard preached before. In short, he came without any popish robes or ornaments about him; he seemed to endeavor to lead souls to Christ Jesus and was armed with nothing but gospel faith and simple truth, which are quite sufficient.

I have often thought, and I believe in the day of judgment it will be found truth, that many in our days, who are good scholars, and who appear in their parsonic robes, cut a venerable figure before an auditory, have a fluent gift of eloquent speech, a choice and select assortment of gospel sentences, are, nevertheless, at the same time under the spirit of bondage. And this any Christian may find and feel, who has been at all influenced by "the spirit of love and of a sound mind," by that bondage and legal striving which are communicated to those who sit under them; for it is not the expressions only that influence the flock - they only inform the judgment; but the flock drink into the spirit of the pastor, whether he be legal or evangelical. Such, not being able to give an experimental description of the liberty of the Holy Spirit, is, I think, instrumental in keeping many poor souls in chains, by leading the flock, as Moses did, to Horeb. There is such a thing as preaching liberty to others while the preacher is a servant of corruption, as the scriptures witness.

I once heard a person of this stamp preach; and was so taken with his venerable appearance, his oratory, and his choice expressions, that I thought, had it been in my power, I would have followed him to the grave, and yet I enjoyed nothing but his melodious voice. Notwithstanding this, he communicated such a legal frame to my soul, that I went home groaning under a hard heart till my breastbone was sore; and I continued to feel its soul-entangling influence for many days after.

I now know some that sit under a very evangelical preacher one part of the day, and in the other part under one that preaches legality itself, and they see no difference; nor do they get one step forward in the way of regeneration from years end to year's end. And I am sorely afraid that, when they have served another seven years, they will be as far from Mount Gilead as they are now; for Mount Sinai is like the mountain of Gilboa, it affords neither dew nor rain. But to return -

After I had heard Mr. Joss I went home and informed my wife that I had found a man who preached the Bible - a wonder I had never seen before; and that he preached without any gown or cassock; that the people called methodists were the Lord's elect, and I was delighted even with the appearance of them.

I now began to consider the character of a Pharisee and had a strong suspicion that my dame was one of that number. I formerly had held her in very high esteem for her religion, and often thought that, if ever I got through my troubles, I should only be upon a level with her; for she appeared "a just person that needed no repentance." At other times it was a piercing thought to me that at the great day, she would be invited into glory, while her poor husband would be thrust down to hell; therefore I viewed her at times as an angel of light: but I conceived myself to be one of the last that ever could appear before God with acceptance. My wife had informed me how earnestly she used to pray to God (with a little book of prayers she had got) that, if she married me, he would make me a good man and a good husband, and incline my heart to stay at home with her. Which I do not wonder at, as I was naturally of a cheerful turn of mind, and very fond of jovial company; therefore I had perpetually one young man or other after me.

Upon an impartial view of my wife's state, I perceived her to be a pharisee of the Pharisees, therefore I constantly besieged a throne of grace for her; and God hid the state of her soul so heavy upon my mind, that I travailed in pain until I had a hope of Christ being formed in her heart. I had the state of her soul perpetually before my eyes, and the thoughts of a final separation at the general doom was as a spur to the energy of my petitions.

Indeed, as the head of a family, I had an earnest desire in my soul to fear God with all my house and to keep up the worship of God in it. I bless God that my wife did not reject my counsel, nor did she ever refuse to bend her knees with me in prayer; only she was tinctured with a little fear that I was going to be "righteous over much,' and that too even to the endangering my sense, But, blessed be God, I soon saw some symptoms of a law-work on her also; which eased my mind greatly, and afforded some ground of hope. Thus one good turn deserved another. As she had informed me how she had formerly prayed to God for me, I likewise prayed to God for her; and I trust I prevailed with the blessed Majesty of heaven in this also.

A few sabbaths after I had first been at Richmond, I was asked by my friend to go and hear the word of God at Kingston, which I accordingly did. At noon we went and sat in the vestry, to eat the morsel we carried in our pockets; and there were several country people who brought their provision likewise, and sat and dined with us. After the minister had dined, he came out of the house into the vestry and began to ask the people many questions about their souls. He spake to each of them in rotation; and at last, it came to my turn. This seemed all new to me. I had never given anybody any account of my religion, nor had I the proper use of my tongue, or words, to express my feelings. I told him that I was ready to die; meaning that I was delivered from the fear of death, which I had labored under. And said I hoped I should die soon; by which I meant that I had prayed to die. I told him also that I had lately read a book, which advised men to weigh well the fifth chapter of the Romans, and that I had it all by heart: I meant, that I had not only read it, but had experienced the whole of it in my heart. He shook his head, saying he was afraid I was deluded. I did not know then what the word delusion meant, therefore I could not contradict him. He looked very hard at me; and, seeing me smile and look so cheerful, thought it a very bad sign. He then asked how long I had heard the Gospel? I told him, "Only three or four times." He shook his head. and asked the people if they knew me? They said, "No." He asked them if I had been there before? They said, "No; not to their knowledge." So my pedigree could not be traced, nor could the minister calculate my nativity. "I was one born out of due time;" or like the image of Jupiter, that fell down from the moon: a marvelous thing was done, and yet they could not tell whence I was.

The good man tried to fasten a word of conviction on my heart, but he could not; I had felt enough of that before. Whereupon, meeting me so happy under all he said, he thought that I was "hardened through the deceitfullness of sin;" and, finding he could render me no service, he gave me up. As I went out of the vestry many of the hearers seemed to pity me, having heard my trial, and that the judgment passed upon me was - delusion.

The good man went up into the pulpit, and delivered a discourse from these words; "When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he said, I will return to my house from whence I came out. And, when he comes, he findeth it empty, swept and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and Riley enter in and dwell there. And the last state of that man is worse than the first," Matt. xii. 43-45. The preacher looked hard at me and ignorantly leveled all his arrows at my head. I looked him full in the face, gave him all possible attention, and endeavoured to expose my conscience to all that might be discharged from that text; to see if any breach could be made in my conscience, which the dear Redeemer had so sweetly healed. But all the arrows fell short or flew beyond me, and so I thought they would as soon as he drew his bow. "But none but David and Jonathan knew the matter," I Sam. xx. 39. After this discourse was delivered I went home, and my friend asked me if the minister's examination did not distress me? I told him, No, it did not; for I believed that, had he preached hell and damnation against me for twenty years, he never would have fixed one threat on my mind; for Jesus Christ himself had delivered my soul, therefore man could not bring me back again into trouble; nor was it in my power to get back again, even if I myself tried at it.

The above circumstance has been of use to me since I have been in the ministry; it has taught me to seek after the power of religion on the conscience, rather than to expect a confession of faith from the lips of babes. It is not every gracious soul that can make a creed; they are not all eyes in the body mystical. Had the good man begun to explain a law- work on the heart, and talked of temptations and soul-travail, and then explained a saint's birth by the Spirit, he would have touched my case, and have kindled the fire; he would then have spoken to me in my own language, and might have drawn as much out of my heart as would have satisfied all his inquiries. Paul became weak that he might gain the weak. But "counsel in the heart of man is like deep water;" and he must be "a man of good understanding that draws it out."

All this time my soul enjoyed unutterable life and glory. My communion with the Redeemer was so sweet to my soul, that I thought it was impossible to live upon the earth; and therefore I expected every day, for many months together, that I should depart and be with Christ, or else that the day of judgment would shortly arrive. Wherefore I watched every cloud that passed, to see if the Saviour appeared in it; for I knew that he was to "come with the clouds of heaven:" and the language of my soul was, "Why to tarry his chariot wheels?" or, in the language of the beloved apostle, "Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly!" Rev. xxii. 20.

The hours of the night were generally the sweetest to my soul, for "God my maker gave me songs in the night," Job, xxxv. 10. I, therefore, waged war with my eyes, and grudged them both slumber and sleep: yea, I besought God to take sleep from my eyes. But this the Lord did not altogether, yet he communed with my mind when I was asleep; as it is written, "I sleep, but my heart waketh; it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh," Song, v. 2. And, when I arose in the morning, and the sun began to shine, it was as if the glory of God shone round about me in the sun-beams, till my spirit would dissolve in his rays; as it is written, "My soul melteth."

When I went to prayer it was heaven upon earth, for my Saviour would pour his answers of joy into my heart before I could ask for them; as it is written, "Before they speak I will hear, and while they are speaking I will answer them."

O, could the bed, the curtains, the hedges, woods, trees, and fields, speak, they would bear their testimonies to the holy triumphs of my soul! But, alas! all language is too poor to set forth the glorious manifestations of God the Saviour to his own elect. We must travel under it, as the prophets and apostles did - begin the thread, and then cut it asunder; as it is written, "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, besides thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him!" Isa. lxiv. 4. Again, "Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God! nor doth it yet appear what we shall be," John, iii. 1, 2. And again, "Whom, having not seen, ye love; and, though now ye see him not, yet, believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory," I Pet. 1. 8.

My adversary, being entirely overcome by faith in the dear Redeemer, now began to tempt me in another way, by leading me to pity the whole fallen race that appeared in their sins, and so to join with him in rebellion against the decrees of God. This was the first temptation that beset me after the Lord had thus wonderfully delivered me; and my poor deluded soul was caught in the snare until I was tempted to pity fallen angels themselves. It is astonishing how far natural affections, or fleshly passions, will carry a person, if he is left to be influenced by Satan," transformed into an angel of light." However, many swallow this bait as the operation of the Holy Ghost, and then cry out, "If I have such pity for poor sinners, then what pity must there be in God!" To which I answer, "God's pity as far surpasses yours as the heaven is high above the earth; and the objects of God's pity, and the objects of your pity, are as far different as the east is from the west."

After God had delivered me from this strange temptation of pitying devils, beasts, and all the inhabitants of the world, and fighting against God's decrees, Satan attacked me in this manner: "You are yourself a chosen vessel, and feel unutterable joys; and you believe in the doctrine of election: look at your poor wife and family; do you think they are elected? What will become of them?" I now listened with all attention and dropped many a silent tear, not suspecting this to be from the devil. He added, "Look at the inhabitants of this parish; you cannot find one that is born again - What is to become of them?" Now it was that my heart began to heave against the doctrine of election, and the sovereignty of the Most High. He also brought the Ethiopians, and other heathen nations, to my mind; and asked me what I thought of the doctrine of election then? All this time my heart was melting, and my eyes flowing with tears, pitying my fellow creatures; at the same time fighting against the decrees of God. The adversary then led me to pity beasts; how hard they fared, and how hard they labored, but there was no heaven prepared for them: and I was led to weeping over them also. Afterward, the adversary asked what I thought of fallen angels? - there was no mercy offered to them; they were reserved in chains of darkness unto the judgment of the great day. I next was tempted to pity devils, which made me tremble. I immediately saw from whence the sounding of these compassionate bowels came; the snare was broken, and I was delivered. I will now inform my reader in what manner this deliverance came.

I had left my place of servitude in Sunbury and was waiting till some other door was opened for me in a way of providence.

During the time of my being out of place, I endeavored to get some employment, till an opportunity offered for me to better myself. I was informed that a man wanted hands to gather cherries, there being a very great crop of fruit that year. Accordingly, I went to work; and I believe there were nearly twenty hands employed. It came to pass, on the Saturday night, that we were ordered to come to work on the Lord's Day morning. This I refused. The master asked me if I was a Whitfieldite? I told him it was a sin to profane the Lord's day, and I would not do it. This caused all the rest to hoot at me, and I continued to be a sport for them all the time I wrought with them. The week following, as I was at work on the ladder, and often heard a taunt from various parts of the ground, it came into my mind, "What do these people hate me for? Only because God has planted his fear in my heart, and made my conscience tender of his honour. I should have the good word of them all if I would serve the devil, and damn my own soul; but, because there seems something of the work of God on me, therefore they hate me. What has God done, thus to offend them, that they make such sport of him?" Here my bowels yearned over my much-abused Lord. I was then led to look at the cherry-trees round around me, to see how they were laden with fruit, as a blessing from God; and to observe the conduct of my master and fellow-workmen, how unjustly they deserved such blessings. I said to myself, "God has bountifully hung these trees with fruit, but man only sins the more. The laborers are laughing and blaspheming the name of God all day long, and the master says we must work on the Lord's day, or else we shall never be able to gather them all. Thus they labour by sin to make a fruitful land barren. If God had not sent this plenty, not half the oaths had been sworn, nor had his holy day been thus profaned." I then said, with tears to God, that I must justify him if he never sent another fruit year.

I next considered the conduct of the people in general, and the daily results that God received from them; the state in which we were first created, and the state into which we had brought ourselves by sin; the malice that Christ had met with, and the cruel usage that God and his word had received in Britain, Turkey, Italy, &c.; together with the rage and blasphemies of the devils against God, which my soul had felt. These things drove my spirit back again weeping to God; I left off caviling against his election and justified him in my heart.

Perhaps it might stagger the prophet Ezekiel a little to see God drive his Israel and prophets into an enemy's land, and expose all the vessels of his house to the contempt of fools. But, when God led the prophet into the chambers of imagery, and showed him their abominations in his temple (as you read in the eighth chapter), the prophet soon saw enough to convince him that God was just in executing his judgments and avenging himself of such a nation as that.

The week following we all were again commanded to come on the Lord's day to work. I declared I would not; and advised the man who gathered fruit with me not to do it: and I imagined he would not, as I had talked to him on religious subjects, when he seemed to attend and give assent to what I said. Notwithstanding this, he told me he would come in the morning and earn fifteen pence, and then leave off.

On the Tuesday following I asked my fellow labourer if he had wrought on the Lord's-day? He told me he had. "And, after we had done," said he, "we went to the alehouse and spent fifteen pence a piece, and some of them abused the landlady, and a warrant has been issued out against them. Yesterday," continued he, "we could not do any work." I replied, "Cannot, you see the disapprobation of God in these things? You wrought in the forenoon, and earned fifteen pence; in the afternoon you spent it all at the alehouse - thus God is abused. Yesterday you went to the alehouse again, spent eighteen pence, and lost a day's work; which is worth two shillings or half a crown. Now, what have you gained by breaking the Lord's day, and what have I lost? Do not you see the curse of God on all you can earn on that day?" The words were no sooner out of my mouth than his feet slipped, and he fell from the top of the ladder to the bottom and never gathered a cherry more while I continued in that work. A few days after I was informed that he was likely to lose the use of his arm. I could not shew any pity to the poor wretch, but I justified God in my soul and confessed that his judgment was just. But to return -

Having been delivered from this temptation, my communion with the Saviour was as sweet as ever, and I was much amazed to think that Satan could appear in such a form, and operate in such a manner. However, it is nothing to be wondered at; the apostle declares "he is transformed [at times] into an angel of light;" and so I found it. The adversary often tempted me again upon this point, but it did not affect me; for I was fully persuaded that whatever induced me to entertain hard thoughts of God - prompted me to resist his will - or to despise or oppose any of his revealed truths - must proceed from the devil: for we are commanded to love the Lord with all our heart. And he that loveth father or mother, or wife, or children, better than Christ, is not worthy of him. I may add that those, who do not love him above every earthly object, never enjoyed heart-felt union and communion with him.

I still continued to go to Kingston meeting every Lord's day; and, as I had met with a little persecution, I determined to open my mind to some of them, thinking they would condole with me, as I felt such a love to them; and indeed they appeared like angels in my sight. I therefore told one or two of them how the worldlings used me, but they hardly spoke to me. I was like Joseph with his variegated coat, my brethren could not speak peaceably to me. This sent me home groaning like a woman in travail: and I now went to my everlasting Father, and prayed him, if I was wrong, to put me right; if I was not his child, to make me his child, whatever I might suffer again. He came down on my soul "like rain on the mown grass, and as showers that water the earth." He did all the work over again on my spirit; appeared as precious as ever; and gave me such access to him, and liberty to pour out my soul before him, that I really experienced what David says; "He shall cover thee with Iris feathers, under his wings shalt thou trust, and his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." Thus I got rid of all my groanings, and clearly experienced this truth, "They have made the heart of them sad, whom I have not made sad," Ezekiel, xiii. 22.

I considered with myself what I should do in this case. They had heard my trial at the bar of a minister, and he had suspected me to be in a delusion; which they consequently believed. Therefore I thought that on the next Lord's Day, I would endeavor to undeceive them, by informing them of God's dealings with me. Accordingly, on that day, when several of us were eating in the vestry, I began to tell them of my temptations and troubles; how I had seen Jesus; what he had done for me; how he continually comforted me; and the joys that I felt daily. As soon as I mentioned these things, one of them, who I thought was the brightest saint among them, got up, and went out into the body of the meeting, and his wife followed him; so they chose rather to sit in the cold and eat their dinner, than sit in the vestry with me. Some of the others looked at me as if I had been speaking Arabic to them, I seemed to convey such strange things to their ears. As my experience was deep, and my language very bad, they could not tell what I was, or what I meant; so I appeared as a speckled bird among them. I went home, as usual, groaning and crying to God my Saviour; who answered me again in the joy of my soul. And the blessed Spirit helped my infirmities for such a length of time, that my very soul was dissolved within me. And Christ appeared so precious, in his garments dipped in blood, that I pitied him, mourned over him, and talked to him in such a familiar way as I choose to conceal: though the Song of Solomon is full of it.

The next Lord's Day was appointed for the breaking of bread. When the table was spread I longed to go and partake, as I found such a love for Jesus, and felt such sweet union with him. When the people, therefore, drew up to the table I crept up among them, for I could not keep away. I thought they all looked at me; however, I ventured; but afterward, one Mr. Gates gave me a gentle reproof. This brought all my bearing pains on me again and sent me groaning home in hard labor. But, as soon as I could get into a corner to my dear Saviour, my soul bowed herself, and cast out her sorrows again; Job, xxxix. 3; and then it was well between him and me. The next week it came into my mind that my language was so bad they could not understand me; which might be the reason they could not find a union with me. I now endeavored to meditate on these matters, in order to render my experience intelligible to them when we should next meet; and picked out a whole legion of scripture texts, to prove the work on me to be genuine. Accordingly, the next Lord's day I began again; but as soon as I opened my mouth several of the oldest professors went immediately out of the vestry; some went into the town; some sat, as usual, in the cold meeting; and others afterward went continually to dine at friends' houses, and forsook the vestry entirely. This sent me home again pregnant with sorrow, wondering what it all could mean. But, when I came again to my dear friend the Lord Jesus Christ, all was set to rights. I begged him not to let me deceive myself; and that, if I was a hypocrite, he would show it me, and lead me right, whatever I might suffer in consequence thereof. He gave me no scriptural answer; that is, he applied no text, but sent an answer of peace to my soul, and still appeared as crucified for me in the open vision of faith. I found, as the Redeemer had said, "In this world ye shall have tribulation;" but, when I went to him, I found that in him I had peace.

The next Lord's day I had the same exercise as before, and went groaning home, as usual. I was now much tempted to give up going and secretly wished that I had never been near any congregation of professors at all, as I had so much delight in Christ when in private. However, I have since seen that God was preparing me for the ministry, though I knew nothing of it then. But to return -

Going home, I was violently tempted to believe I was a hypocrite, as all those who appeared so bright in my eyes refused even to sit with me in the vestry; and this scripture came to my mind, "He that loveth him that begets, loveth him that is begotten of him:" which made me suspect that I was not begotten, for which reason those pure souls, who were old Christians, despised even my appearance. This drove me again to a throne of grace with all the energy of prayer wishing that I might wade through the confines of the damned, rather than be a hypocrite, which I thought one of the blackest characters upon earth. But when I went to pray to Jesus, I again found all right. I desired him to let me go back into all my former troubles, but that door was locked up, and more light and love than ever was communicated to my soul.