EXPERIENCE OF HESTER RUMNEY IN NEW YORK CITY

 

"We believe that Sanctification is the process by which, according to the will of God, we are made partakers of his holiness; that it is a progressive work; that it is begun in regeneration; and that it is carried on in the hearts of believers by the presence and power of the Holy Spirit, the Sealer and Comforter, in the continual use of the appointed means, – especially, the word of God, self-examination, self-denial, watchfulness and prayer." Capital Baptist Church, Washington DC

Compare this Arminian view of sanctification to the true Gospel experience of a believer - ed.

New York City. December 12th, 1860.

Dear brother Beebe:

I am once more reminded that it is time to send you the money for my paper, the signs of the times. I should be very sorry to part with them. All what I love, I have felt for the dear brethren and sisters while reading their communications. Sometimes when cast down in reading the exercises of others, I have felt assured that we belong to the same family. For we have no hope nor help in ourselves. I am sure I cannot help myself, but what a mercy that help is laid on, one who is almighty to save and strong to deliver all those who are born of and taught by his blessed Spirit. How often I question myself whether I have truly been taught of God, or only had the lamp of profession, and am destitute of the oil of grace? I feel so much evil within that I would get out of myself if I could. I am so full of unbelief, so prone to wander and so continually sinning. I would live free from sin if I could, but I find sin is rankling deeply within me. I feel that I have nothing to plead but Jesus and his blood and righteousness. Nothing short of the that we'll do for such as me. I feel daily that I need a new application of this precious blood applied to purge my conscience from dead works, to serve the living God by the Spirit whose office it is to take up the things of Jesus and reveal them to us. I want to feel more of his blessed influence, and I desire that this poor body of mine may be a living temple for his Holy Spirit. I want to feel that his Spirit bears witness with my spirit that I am really born from above. I want to.

Read my title clear.

To mansions in the skies.

Then I think I could”

Bid farewell to every fear

and wipe my weeping eyes.

I never could go. So far as some. Or feel the amount of assurance that some do. Still, I have a hope. Though small, yet small as it is, I would not give it up if I could; no, not for thousands of worlds. What is the world with all its joys without an interest in Jesus? I want to keep low at his feet and to know no other will but his. During the year which is now closing, I have passed through many changes, sometimes hoping and in fearing that I am not one of the redeemed of the Lord. I do think I can say from the heart, Lord, take me and lead me in the way that I should go. Whether painful or pleasant, I do desire to be LED in the right way.

The dear Lord has been very gracious to me in granting my request. And in permitting me to once more meet with a few of his dear children in the city of New York. His overruling Providence has brought me here and I have found a little company meeting at Ebenezer Church to worship God. Oh! How my heart rejoiced that I was once more permitted to meet where the dear Lord Has recorded his name. Here I desire to erect a fresh Ebenezer of praise to the Lord for his goodness to me, a poor, sinful, and unworthy creature. I do think their pastor is a man after God's own Heart. He neither fears to frowns nor counts the smiles of men. Nothing will do for him but a "thus sayeth the Lord", whether men will hear or not. May it please the Lord to spare his valuable life for many years to come, and bless his labors in building up his people in their most holy faith. And made a Lord gather in under his ministry many of his hidden ones, many of whom I believe are now in the ruins of the fall, where they are willing to remain until the Lord shall quicken them. Then they will cry out like the jailer: "What must I do to be saved!"

I have spent three Sabbaths with them and I heard with much pleasure and I trust profit. The words seemed to come with power to my soul. I do love to meet with God's dear people. They are the excellent of the Earth, and I love to meet them in the House of prayer. I hope I feel thankful for the privilege I am enjoying, and I pray that the Lord may manifest himself to me and grant me access to him so that I may hear to profit. Unless the word preached is blessed to me, I cannot profit from it. I do feel dependent on the Lord for every good I may receive, or for myself. I am so cold and so full of sin and unbelief. Oh! How much I am indebted to sovereign grace from first to last. I have daily to mourn over a body of sin and death, and sometimes fear that I am deceiving myself and others and that I had better never opened my mouth to speak of these things to anyone or right upon the subject. But again, I feel constrained. I am so subject to changes that I see made up of contradictions. I often think I am different from all others, and if I do belong to the family of God, I am the most unworthy of them all. But still:

I love to meet among them now. 

And at his gracious feet the bow. 

Though vilest of them all, 

I cannot bear the piercing thought. 

What if my name should be left out 

when God, his Saints, shall call?

I often feel to inquire if I am and one as I shall be found among the ransomed when they shall be received home to glory. I see and feel so much in me to deplore and hate, that I feel the desire to get away from myself. But I must continue to groan in this body of sin and death until my change shall come. The longer I live, the more I see in me to mourn over. But all, my dear brother, what a mercy it is that a fountain is opened for the House of David and for the inhabitants of Jerusalem for sin and uncleanliness and a poorer the Wretch, the welcomer there! Washed in that fountain, we shall be pure and spotless, and fit company for holy angels and saints. Oh, how great is the love of God through the precious Redeemer! Well might the apostle say it is past finding out nothing can separate the Saints from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. I do feel that if at last I am raised up to heaven, I will cast my crown at his feet and give all the glory of my salvation to God and the Lamb.

I must close. I fear I have wearied your patience. But did not feel willing to let this opportunity pass without writing to you. I pray the Lord may continue to bless your labors and spare you for a long time and make you a blessing to many of his dear children. And at all times give you a word to communicate by tongue or pen.

I remain, as I hope, your sister in Christ.

Hester Rumney