A SWARM OF SECATIRES AND SCHISMATICS 1691

A

SWARM OF SECTARIES, AND SCHISMATICS:

Wherein is discovered the strange preaching (or prating) of such as are by their trades Coblers, Tinkers, Pedlers, Weavers, Sow∣gelders, and Chimney-Sweepers

BY JOHN TAYLOR.

The Cobler preaches and his Audience are

As wise as Mosse was, when he caught his Mare.

Printed luckily, and may be read unhappily, betwixt hawke and buzzard, 1691.

The ods or difference betwixt the Knaves Puritan, and the Knave PURITAN.

And first of the Knaves Puritan.

HEE that resists the world, the flesh, and Fiend,

And makes a conscience how his daies he spend

Who hates excessive drinking, Dr•bs and Dice

And (in his heart) hath God in highest price;

That lives conformable to Law, and State,

Nor from the Truth will flie or separate:

That will not sweare, or couzen, •ogge or lie,

But strives (in Gods ••are) how to live and die:

He that seekes thus to do the best he can,

He is the Knaves abused Puritan.

The Knave Puritan.

HE whose best good, is only good to seeme,

And see•ing holy, gets some false esteeme:

Who makes Religion hide•••ocrisie,

And zeale to cover 〈…〉lany;

Whose purity (much 〈…〉 devils Ape)

Can shift himself into an Angels shape,

And play the Rascall most devoutly trim,

Not •••ing who sinkes, so himself may swim

Hee's the Knave Puritan, and only He,

Makes the Knaves Puritan abus'd to be

For (in this life) each man ••• must take,

Good men must suffer wrong for bad mens sake.

To he that will.

THou that this little Book in hand dost take,

Of what thou read'st no false construction

Be not prejudicate, to carp, or grudge, (make

And look thou understand before thou judge:

My Muse is Musicall, and runs division,

And holds all Critick Cock scombs in derision.

The wretch, that true Religion doth despise,

Is like the Atheist, that his God denies,

And those that do contemne Religious Rites,

Must look for portions with the hypocrites:

And therefore with all Reverend due respects

To Truth, I have displaid some peevish Sects;

Full of foule errors, poore, and bare of sence,

Yet tending to some dangerous consequence.

'Tis past a Butchers 〈…〉ers reach,

To pearch into a Pu〈…〉 to preach;

A pot, a platter, dripping pan, or spit,

Are for a Ladies Bed-chamber unfit:

Rich Hangings, Curtaines, Carpets, garments gay

Doe not become a Kitchin any way.

A Preachers work is not to gelde a Sowe,

Vnseemly 'tis a Iudge should milke a Cowe

A Cobler to a Pulpit should not mount,

Nor can an Asse cast up a true account.

A Clowne to sway a Scepter is too base,

And Princes to turne Pedlers were disgrace:

Yet all these, if they not misplaced be,

Are necessary, each in their degree,

If each within their limits be contain'd,

Peace flourisheth, and concord is maintain'd.

The good man Iob* describes it plain and right,

Where order is not, darknesse, and the light

Are both alike, for blindefold Ignorance

Of perfect wisdome hath no glimpse or glance.

But such as 'gainst all order doe rebell,

Let them not doe as did Achitophell,*

To set his house in order home went he,

But what became of him, pray reade and see.

Kinde Brethren, I doe wish you better fortune,

And with tongue, pen, and heart, I you importune

To have the patience but to heare, or reade

What kinde of fellowes doe you thus misleade;

I doe inveigh here with impartiall pen

Against no silenc'd, learned Clergy men,

Nor any man that understands me right,

But will approve these lines which here I write:

For let base spight say what it dare or can,

I know, what's writ, offends no honest man.

I write of some, that with tongue, pen and print

Have writ and rail'd, as if the devill were in't.

I could name many of that precious crew,

And for a taste I will recite a few.

First, of one that was a Merchant of Pitchards, Black pots, Double Iugges, and Pipkins, and was forward to preach, not being called or sent.

NEare to the lower end of Cheapside late,

There dwelt one Knight that sold much brittle plate,

As glasses, earthen dishes, pans and platters,

Pots, pipkins, gallipots, and such like matters.

This Knight the Brethren (by appointment sent

To Loving-land, (an Isle) in Suffolk went,

And at a Village (Summerlayten hight)

A Sermon there was preached by that Knight.

His prayer extemp're done, he op'de the book,

And Vnto us a Childe is borne, he took

To be his Text, and handled it so gravely,

That for it did in Yarmouth Gaole, the Knave lie.

Knight had to aide him to negotiate,

One Gault (a Shoomaker). Ass-so•iate,

Both which were quickly to promotion risen,

Preferr'd from Yarmouth, unto Norw•ch prisen.

From thence Knight was unto the Gatehouse broght

Whence upon Baile, his liberty he sought,

And was bail'd, but his baile and he both fled

To Amsterdam, and there he published

Strange Libels, full of mischiefe and debate,

Which here were scatterd 'gainst the Church and State.

Whereby he to the world did plaine reveale

His mallapert, most saucie, purblinde zeale.

Another sweet youth in a Basket.

ONe Sidra•h Cave made Baskets late in Elie,

A constant brother, rais'd up his maids belly:

But 'twas in Gandermonth, his wife lay in,

His flesh rebell'd, and tempted him to sin;

And Cave's wife tooke the wrong most patiently,

For which the Brethren prais'd her sanctity.

A third Bird of the same Nest.

ANother (one Iohn Howgrave) dwelt at Yar∣mouth

(Not hot, or cold, but with a meere lukewarm∣mouth)

From country, wife & houshold late he fled

To Rotterdam, for's Conscience as he sed;

At Iohn Burgaries house, he took his Inne,

And woo'd his Hostesse to the Paphean sin.

Burgaries wife by him with childe was got,

That Howgrave fearing Rotterdam too hot,

Fled back to Yarmouth, whence at first he came;

His fault was knowne, and he chid for the same:

He said it was not he did that vile deed,

But sin that dwelt in him that fault did breed;

And that the devill should more damnation win,

For tempting Gods deare childe to such a sin.

Another like that.

OF young, and old, both sexes late, a crew

were bound from England old, to Engl: new:

And staying long at Yarmouth there together,

Expecting Ships for passage, winde and weather,

A Brother came to Howgraves wife, and kist her,

And told her sad newes of a new falne sister,

Falne (quoth she) from the Word? I hope not that,

And let her fall then, to no matter what:

Ah no, shee's fowly got with childe (quoth he)

Now out upon her, pray by whom (quoth she)

'Twas by a faithfull Brother he replide,

Well, well, quoth she, we all have gone aside;

If 'twere a Brothers, deed she could not shun it,

But 'thad been naught, had one of th'wicked done it.

A precious youth.

ALso one Spilsbery rose up of late,

(Who doth, or did dwell over Aldersgate)

His office was to weigh Hay by the Trusse,

(Fit for the pallat of Bucephalus)

He in short time left his Hay-weighing trade,

And afterwards he Irish Stockings made:

He rebaptiz'd in Anabaptist fashion

One Ea•on (of the new found separation)

A zealous Button maker, grave and wise,

And gave him orders, others to baptize;

Who was so apt to learne that in one day,

Hee'd do't as well as Spilsbery weigh'd Hay.

This pure Hay-lay man to the Bankside came,

And likewise there baptiz'd an impure dame,

A Basket-makers wife, known wondrous well.

In Mosse his Alley he and she doth dwell.

As good as the rest.

AT Brentford dwels the widdow Constable,

(As wise as was the Dean of Dunstable)

Her husband dy'd, and she great hast did make,

Our Church, and Churches doctrine to forsake;

Professing purity, chaste, undefil'd,

Yet in a Gravell pit was got with childe,

And now she bids Religion quite adiew,

Turn'd from a Nonconformist, to a Jew.

THese kind of Vermin swarm like Caterpillars

And hold Conventicles in Barnes and Sellars,

Some preach (or prate) in woods, in fields, in stables,

In hollow trees, in tubs, on tops of tables,

To the expence of many a tallow Tapor,

They tosse the holy Scripture into Vapor:

These are the Rabshekaes that raile so bitter,

(Like mungrill Whelpes of Hells infernall litter)

Against that Church that hath baptiz'd and bred them,

And like a loving mother, nurst & fed them,

With milk, with strong meats, with the bread of life,

Like a true mother, and our Saviours wife.

Here followeth the Relation of the most famous preaching Cobler Samuel Howe.

OF lare a wondrous accident befell,

A zealous Cobler did neare Morefields dwell:

A holy Brother of the Separation,

A sanctified member by Vocation.

One that did place his principall delight,

To set such as doe walke aside, upright,

To mend bad Soales, and such as go astray,

Discreetly to support, and underlay.

This Reverend translating Brother (HOW)

Puts both his hands unto the spirituall Plow;

And at the Nags head, neare to Coleman-streete,

A most pure crew of Brethren there did meete,

Where their devotion was so strong and ample,

to turne a sinfull Taverne to a Temple,

They banish'd Bacchus thence, and some smal space

The drawers and the Bar-boy had some grace.

There were above a hundred people there,

With whom few understanders mingled were,

Who came to heare the learned Cobler HOW,

And how he preach'd, pray mark, Ile tell you now:

He did addresse himselfe in such a fashion

As well befitted such a Congregation.

He made some faces, with his hands erected,

His eyes (most whitest white) to heaven directed:

His hum, his stroking of his beard, his spitting,

His postures, and impostures done most fitting.

A long three quarters prayer being said,

(The good man knowing scarce for what he prai'd)

For where his speech lack'd either sence or weight,

He made it up in measure and conceit.

A worthy Brother gave the Text, and than

The Cobler (How) his preachment strait began

Extemp'ry without any meditation,

But only by the Spirits revelation,

He went through-stitch, now hither, & now thither,

And tooke great paines to draw both ends together:

For (like a man inspir'd from Amsterdam)

He scorn'd Ne su•or ultra crepidam;

His Text he clouted, and his Sermon welted,

His audience (with devotion) almost melted,

His speech was neither studied, chew'd or champ'd,

Or ruminated, but most neatly vamp'd.

He ran beyond his latchet I assure ye,

As nimble as a Fairie, or a Furie:

He fell couragiously upon the Beast,

And very daintily the Text did wrest;

His audience wondred what strange powerdid guide him,

'Tis thought no man can do the like beside him.

Yet some there were, whose censures were more quicker,

Said Calveskin doctrin would hold out no liquor.

'Gainst Schooles, and learning he exclaim'd amain,

Tongues, Science, Logick, Rhetorick, all are vain,

And wisdome much unfitting for a Preacher,

Because the Spirit is the only teacher.

For Christ chose not the Rabines of the Jewes,

No Doctors, Scribes, or Pharisees did chuse:

The poore unlearned simple Fisherman,

The poling, strict tole-gathering Publican,

Tent-makers, and poore men of meane desart,

Such as knew no degrees, or grounds of Art;

And God still being God (as he was then)

Still gives his Spirit to unlearned men,

Such as are Barbers, Mealmen, Brewers, Bakers,

Religious Sowgelders, and Button-makers,

Coopers, and Coblers, Tinkers, Pedlers, Weavers,

And Chimney sweepers, by whose good endeavours

The flock may fructifie, encrease, and breed

In sanctity, that from them may proceed

Whole multitudes of such a generation,

As may hold learning in small estimation.

The Latine is the language of the Beast,

Of Romes great Beast, that doth the world molest;

Besides the Bishops speake it when they will,

And all the Preachers babble Latine still;

Then since it is the Romish tongue, therefore

Let us that doe not Antichrist adore,

Leave it to Lawyers, Gentlemen, and such

Whose studies in the Scriptures are not much.

THis was the very summe, the root, and pith,

The Coblers Lecture was full furnish'd with:

And having said his All (his prayer past)

He blest his Brethren, and came to his Laste.

And in some points, the Coblers case is cleare,

Christ chose not learned men when he was here,

Not Masters, or expounders of the Law,

(For he knew all things, and all things foresaw)

For had he chose great men of wealth & arts, (harts)

The Jewes (with slanderous tongues and hardened

Would then have said that what he did, or said

Was done by their assistance, and their aide.

He therefore chose poore men in meanes & tongue,

That by weak means he might confound the strong.

Yet this is certain, that at Pentecost,

(When on th' Apostles fell the holy Ghost)

Each of them spake, each severall language then,

And were, and ne're shall be such learned men.

Not all the Universities that are,

Or were, or will be, with them may compare,

For never Bishops, or Divines inferiours,

But did acknowledge them for their superiours

For sanctity, and working Miracles,

For preaching sacred heavenly Oracles,

For perfect knowledge, and integrity,

For life and doctrines pure sincerity

Th' Apostles had more tha then whole world had,

Therefore the Cobler and his crew are mad.

Objection.

BUt some (perhaps) may answer me, that then

No humane learning did inspire those men.

And that the Spirits mighty operation

Gave them the language of each severall Nation:

Indeed true Christian Churches have confest,

That long agone all miracles are ceast,

We must not look for signes and wonders now,

God plentifully doth his Word allow,

And Tongues are not so easily discern'd,

But men must study for them, to be learn'd.

For when the Apostles all were gone and dead,

By learned men the Gospell was or 'espread:

And publish'd, and translated every where,

Els• we had never had a Bible here.

'Twas Schollers, and grave learned men that did

Translate the Scriptures, which had still been hid

From all Sects, that would Order undermine,

Maintaining learning fits not a Divine.

Therefore if they (as they doe boast) inherite

So large a measure of th'unmeasur'd Spirit,

Let them speak tongues, as then the Apostles spake,

To work great wonders let them undertake;

Let them convert unto the Faith of Christ

Whole nations (whom the devil hath long entic'd.)

Let them the Moores, and barbarous Indians reach,

And to Man-eating Canniballs goe preach:

Let all those Brethren leave great Britaines Coast,

And travaile where the devill is honour'd most.

All you that are this Kingdomes pestilence,

I wish you goe, and drive the devils thence;

And then my Muse and I, in Verse will tell,

You and your Spirit have done wondrous well.

A Short relation of some of the mighty Miracles done by the Apostles in the name and power of IESUS.

THree thousand Soules, S. Peter in one day,*

By preaching, turn'd into the heavenly way;

He cur'd the Cripple, reade but Acts the third,

Strooke dead two deep dissemblers with his word:*

Cur'de old AEneas, palsied, weak, and lame,*

These things Saint Peter did in Iesus name.

Cur'd people with his shadow, and reviv'd

Tabitha (whom Death had of life depriv'd,*

And after (fetter'd) in close prison shut,

An Angell him at liberty did put.

Let me see one of you such rare things doe,

And then Ile say you have the Spirit too.

Saint Paul gave Sergius Paulus heavenly light,*

Inchanting Elimas he reav'd of sight;

Did Lidia and the Jaylour both convert,*

And did the holy Ghost to twelve impart,

And they straitwaies spake severall tongues most plain,*

And I believe ne're went to schoole again.

If Napkins or handkerchiefes did but touch

The corpes of Paul, the force of faith was such,

That fiends did flie, and vexed soules had rest;

And from possest men devils were dispossest,

And were but some of you well hang'd or whip'd,

And that your shirts were from your corpses strip'd

Or else your whip, or halter well would try,

If (by their touch) they'd make the devils flie,

And leave possession, I dare lay my life

There's many a man would use them on his wife.

But no such vertue doth from you ensue,

For if there did, the devill would flie from you.

Sweet Brethren of the Sect of Ignoramus,

You that despise Te Deam and Laudamus,

You that doe for our humane learning blame us,

I wonder what Religion you would frame us;

You, without any learning, barbarous, rude,

How dare you sacrilegiously intrude

In Church-affaires, not being call'd or sent,

And with your brazen faces impudent,

To pick Gods secret Closset ope, and pry

(Most saucy) In th' Almighties secrecy:

Is't not enough, you have his Will reveal'd,

But you'le needs know his secret will conceal'd,

Break up the closset doore, and boldly get

Into th'eternall, heavenly Cabinet.

This is a theft contemptible most high,

(Transcendent Felony and Burglary)

And those proud thieves, at doomes day must not looke

To be repriev'd, or saved by their booke.

Some there have been, so malapertly mad,

To guesse what talk Christ with the Doctors had:

To know where Moses body buried lies,

Wh••• E•••s garden was, or paradise,

What God did doe Before the world the fram'd,

And where hell stands (appointed for the damn'd)

These curious Constables would search and peepe

Through heaven, earth, sea, aire, and th' infernal deep,

And for their •ee ••••dies, paines, and care,

They do conclude (like Cox-combs) as they are,

In boasting know ledge they themselves advance,

When all their skill is blinded ignorance•

All you of this o••e self-conceited Sect,

That brag your selves to be the Lords Elect,

Me thinkes it is too much for you or yours,

To be God• Come•ers, not his Counsellours,

Where have you that •a•e reve••tion found,

The Ser•p•••es close'st my •teries to expound,

Is it because you wit and learning want,

Or will the truth dwell with the ignorant:

Must the best preachers be unlearned fooles?

Then downe with Universities and Schooles,

Your Libraries, your Halls, and Colledges,

If ignorance surpasse your knowledges.

The word of God was faithfully translated•

By learned men, o•re spread and propagated•

'Twas done by Schooliers, had it not been done •

Till you had done, we all had been undone.

Y'er bid to search the Scriptures • tis confest,

You are not bid the Scriptures sence to wrest,

To metamorphose, a•ter, wring, and wrie,

Gods Word •ecording to your ••ahtasie,

Ye'have leave to heare, or reade it, 'tis not fit

You, or your Ke•nell should interpret it;

For should we trust to your interpretation,

We should have an unhandsome Congregation.

When God declar'd his Law in dreadfull thunder

Upon Mount Sinai, full of feare and wonder,*

'Twas present death to any that was there,

That dar'd to touch the hill, or come too neere.

When as the Ark was back return'd again,

That seven monthes with the Philistines had lain,

Then fifteen hundred Bethshemites were strooke

Stark dead, for daring in the Ark to looke.*

When Vzzib, fearing that the Ark would full,*

Put to his hand, was straight strook dead withall,

His office only was to drive the Cart,

To touch the Arke was no part of his part.

Since Vzzab for his good will to hold up

The falling Ark, did taste dea••es bitter cup,

Since those that once to looke into it dar'd,

Or those that touch• Mount Sinai were not spa•d,

What can a Cobler look for, or a Knave,

Who in the Church (or Arke) no function have?

Yet dares most saucily to preach and prate

Against all orders, learning, Church and State.

It is most lamentable that so far,

Men so besorted or be devill'd are,

That witlesse Rascals are held more divine

Then •rome, Ambrose, Gregorie, Augustine,

Or all the ancient Fathers (in a word)

Their learnings and their labours held absurd,

By scabs, and varlets, of no worth or merit•

But impious boasting of th'inspiring Spirit;

And had each one of you his right and due,

Your spirit should be sharply whip'd from you,

And when you felt the acutenesse of the lash,

You would esteem your doctrine Balderdash.

For in Saint Austins time, he made complaint,

That eighty two Sects did the Church •••

Since when, could I all Here si•• recount,

The number (trouble) treble will amount;

Yet in that Fathers daies, that reverend man

Did ne're heare of the Sect call'd Puritan,

And sure the name of Puritan doth yeeld,

A good mans nickname, and a bad mans shield,

It is a cover for a cheating Knave,

And 't is a jeare, a good man to deprave;

But both the good and bad, who are they be,

They get no name of Poritan from me.

I write of Separatists, and Schismatiques.

Of shallow-pated, hare brain'd Heretiques,

Such as doe make the Text a Lesbian rule,

Whose faith or reason (like the Horse or Mule)

Whom neither Law, or sence can curb or bridle,

Who ne're are well imploy'd, nor never idle.

A man may well compare those Separatists

Unto the hot Gun-powder Romanists•

For though they doe each other deadly hate,

And one the other faine would ruinate,

Yet both in their conclusions doe agree,

The ruine of our Church and State to be.

Their head's (like Sampsons Foxes) •undned wide,

But yet their tailes are fast together ty'd;

For both doe joyntly joyn, and both desire,

With fire-brand zeale to set our Corison fire.

To spoile our Government established,

And (through the world) most famous published,

They joyne together to consume and burne,

And with confusion waste and overturne

All ancient order, rule, and decency,

And doctrine, from the prime antiquity.

Thus both the grounds, & aimes of both those Sects

Agree both (in their tailes) for their effects,

How er'e their heads, East, West, South, North, may fever,

Their ends are one, to seek our downfal ever.

And of these two opposers (I'le bar swearing)

'Tis hard to know which barrell's better Herring:

But (of the twaine) a man shall alwaies finde

The Schismatique most obstinate inclin'd,

And the more ignorant he is, the worse,

Most stubborne, sence lesse, shallow in discourse,

The Papist makes some shew of wit and sence,

And seeming reason for his false pretence,

And from him I may something gain, whereby

My faith (more firmly) I may fortifie;

For though I doe not credit his dispute,

Yet (by disputing) I may gaine some fru••.

But from the other side I dare presume,

I shall have nothing else but froth and fume,

With hasty answers, peevish, testy, snappish,

Untoward, wayward, nonsence, fruitlesse, apish.

These, none but these hold learning in disdain,

And all for use divine, accurst, and vaine,

All humane knowledge therefore they derest,

Th'unlearn'd (they say) do know the Scriptures best:

That humane learning breeds confusion,

Most fit for AEgypt, Rome, and Babylon,

And that the learned ones were, are, and shall

Be ignorant of humane learning all.

These with some other idle fancies mix'd,

In their unfix'd opinions are all fix'd.

But stay (my Muse) hold, whither wilt thou gad?

The earned Reader sure will thinke thee mad,

Because thou art so tiring, tedious, long

About these Screet •howles with thy Cuckoes song:

And though I seeme those Caitiffes to condemne,

Yet idle babling makes me seeme like them.

'T is best therefore, no longer time to spend,

But some few lines, and briefly make an end.

A Zealous brother did a sister meete,

And greeted sweetly in the open streete;

Thou holy woman, where hast been said he,

I came from a baptizing Sir (quoth she)

Pray whose childe was it (he again requires)

She answerd, such a Taylors in Black-fryers,

Hee's one of us, the man reply'd again,

Hee's one (quoth she) that doth the truth maintain;

Quoth he, what might the childe baptized be?

Was it a Male SHE, or a Female HE?

I know not which, but 'tis a Son she said,

Nay then (quoth he) a wager may be laid;

It had some Scripture name, yes, so it had

Said she, but my weak memorie's so bad

I have forgot it, 'twas a godly name,

Though out of my remembrance be the same,

'Twas one of the small Prophets verily,

It was not Esay, nor yet Ieremie,

Ezekiel, Daniel, nor good Obadias,

And now I doe remember, 'twas Golias.

ANother sister (as the Spirit rap't her)

Said to her Boy come sirrha, reade a Chapter:

The Boy por'd on the Book, and fumbling sate,

And had more minde to be at Ball or Gat;

His mother said, why dost not reade thou knave.

The Boy ask'd her what Chapter she would have

Thou paltry Imp (quoth she) canst thou finde none

'Twixt Genesis, and Revelation;

To learne thy duty, reade no more but this,

Pauls nineteenth Chapter unto Genesis.

ON London Bridge I lately did confer

About some businesse with a Stationer:

A young man came into the Shop, and sought

Some holy Ballads, which he view'd and bought,

And there he pray'd the Shop-keeper to looke

The Epistles of Saint Ovid (a fine-Book)

Upon Saint Peter, Paul, Iohn, Iude, or Iames,

They will not put the Saint unto their names,

But yet their ignorance impure, precise,

A heathen Poets name can Canonize.

ONe Mapleton, at Reding late did dwell:

Because his flesh did gainst his minde rebell,

He cut it off so close unto the stumpe,

That he scarce left himselfe a pissing pump;

And hee's one of those wise men, and 'twere good

That all the Tribe of his sweet Brotherhood

Would ••• his 〈…〉

Then they would 〈…〉

Then peace and rest our Church and State should gain;

All windmills, and vagaries of the brain

Would from unquiet England banish'd be,

And from disturbance we should soon be free.

These, with the rest (unknowne) may be compar'd,

Whose love to learning I have plain declar'd.

To wofull passe our Church were quickly brought:

If these companions had but what they sought,

From Rome, from them, from all that wrong us thus

Good Lord of Heaven And Earth deliver U S.

AMEN.

Postscript.

IF Prelates have by fraud, or frailty

My ••shall not in Gall of Aspes •••,

I'le pray we may have better in their places,

Whom Grace may guide, to shun the like disgraces;

Let trade s•en use their trades, let all men be

Imploy'd in what is fitting their degree,

And let the Pastors Urym, and his Thummim

Be upright, and sincere (as doth become him)

Let each man doe his best, himself t'amend,

And all our troubles soone will have an END.

'Tis madnesse, that a crew of brainlesse blocks

Dares teach the learned what is Orthodoxe.